A British Science Fiction
by Raggedy Doctor
Summary: If the series of Doctor Who was woman it would be shagged senseless by now." Arthur really likes Doctor Who so who better to cosplay as at the Comic Con than the Doctor? The problem is the costume isn't as unique as he thought it would be


Consuming alcohol, sugar, and three Doctor Who Specials are what are to blame for this story--and Nisha and Jeyse... (shakes fist)

* * *

Arthur loved Doctor Who.

Really loved it.

If the series of Doctor Who was a woman it would be shagged senseless by now... except for the movie, he didn't think much of the movie... (American, bleh)

So it should come as no surprise that he was dressed as The Fourth Doctor (not Doctor Who, that's not his name damn it!) for America's silly little Comic Con.

England looked out smugly at the Storm Troopers, Batmans, Severus Snapes, and well... oddly enough there were a lot of cybermen...anyway, he had the best costume there.

"I have the best cosplay here!" DAMN IT AMERICA. Arthur turned about to retort, belittle, and generally put down, but he was stifled by the character that met him...

"...What?" England could only manage.

Alfred F**KING Jones stood before him in a pinstriped suit, trainers, fake glasses, spiky hair, and wide blinding grin (the bastard).

"Hey Arthur!" He said cheerfully waving a sonic screwdriver at him.

"Why are you dressed as—?"

"Doctor Who? Because Doctor Who's AWESOME!!! (like me!)"

Arthur twitched slightly, "His name is just THE Doctor... and ... you can't dress as the Doctor!"

Alfred tilted his head pretending to listen as he hummed the Doctor Who theme tune in his head... with electric guitars, that's how epic America's head humming is.

"You're American! He's British! He saves the universe without using a gun you have the image of a pistol tattooed to your ass!—He's BRITISH!!"

"DAAAAAAA DUM DA DAA" America suddenly burst into song, "DUM DE DAAAA DUM DAAA DA DA DAAA DUM DE DAAA DUM DE DAA DUM DEE DAAA DUM DE DAAA ...... dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum da dad a whooosh!! ....... Heh, I love Murray Gold, electric guitars are so epic... so who are you supposed to be Arthur? Someone from Red Dwarf? That's British right?"

Arthur twitched, "I'm the Doctor you nitwit!!"

"Doctor Who?"

... Bloody brilliant...

"Technically Doctor Who's an alien...Gallifreyian" a very quiet voice pointed out, "Not British..."

Arthur probably wouldn't have even noticed the voice if it hadn't been for the incorrect name to his beloved hero... again!

"It's THE Doctor, THE, as in the definite article, not Doctor Who, that is the title of the show!" He yelled at the new comer. He blinked. Two Tenth Doctors?—I mean... Two Americas? Although unlike the first America's brown, this one was wearing blue.

"It's Canada," the second Tenth Doctor sighed as if he could read his thoughts.

"And I'm actually supposed to be the Meta-crisis Doctor, but everyone keeps thinking—"

Arthur lost interest right about there.

"So, you were just about to tell me who you're cosplaying as, some sort of Doctor was it?" America asked quizzically as if trying very hard to figure it out.

"Doctor Who!" Arthur yelled, "I'm Doctor BLOODY Who, but that's not his name, his name is just THE DOCTOR!!!!" He shrieked in outrage for having to demean himself in such a way.

Alfred glanced over at the other Alfred quizzically.

"There's been Ten of them Al," the 'meta-crisis Tenth Doctor' explained, at least this one seemed more informed than his twin. Alfred blinked in confusion.

"Ten? I thought there were only Four! The two in the American movie which started the franchise, the leather Jacket-y one in the British rip off and the (AWESOME) Fourth one that reminds me so much of me (even if he does have a goofy accent) Have a missed a new season or something?"

"IT'S BRITISH DAMN IT!! DOCTOR WHO IS BRITISH, IT'S ALWAYS (Except for that movie but even then...) BEEN BRITISH, IT WILL ALWAYS BE BRITISH, SINCE NOVEMBER 23, 1963 IT'S BEEN BRITISH!!!!"

"But it can't have been on for that long without my—wait... Did you just say November 23, 1963?" Alfred froze.

That's when it first aired yes," Arthur nodded.

"OF COURSE!!! THERE WAS A SECOND GUNMAN—AND HE WAS LIKELY BRITISH!!!" And with that Alfred ran off... for... some... reason...

"... ugh..." Arthur grumbled.

"I... like your scarf," The meta-crisis Tenth Doctor offered.

"Everyone likes the scarf," Arthur scoffed.

"Ohhhhh Meta-crisis TENTH Doctor!!!!!" Someone sung. A look of horror entered the other America's eyes—Canada! That's who it was! The Bear (who was dressed as K9 strangely enough) should have been a dead giveaway!

"Doctor Who?"

"Meta-crisis Doctor K9-jiro..." Matthew said out of reflex even while fear shone in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asked turning in the direction Matthew was staring.

What met him was the most horrifying vision he had ever had the bitter experience of seeing.

"Is... is France dressed like Rose Tyler?" He said slowly.

"I—I don't wanna role play," Matthew said ducking under Arthur's scarf, "I really REALLY don't... his beard is itchy... and I don't even LIKE Rose Tyler! I'm more of a Martha Jones kind of guy myself..."

Arthur barely took in what the Canadian had said. He must have been so transfixed (and horrified) that he hadn't even noticed when France had ducked under his scarf putting his arms around Matthew.

"Allons-y oui, oui?"

With that Matthew ran as fast as his trainers could carry him France following close behind.

A shudder ran up Arthur's spine. He missed Sarah Jane...

(With that the image of France dressed as Sarah Jane making a kissy face entered his mind, so he felt it was high time to get a drink... or seven)

Heading to the bar he dully noticed Germany was dressed as a Dalek glaring at Northern Italy who was dressed up as the Fifth Doctor.

"I find this very offensive," the German grumbled as he ... wheeled? His way through the crowd, "You do know the Dalek's were based off the you know whos right? You KNOW I don't like talking about the you know whos!"

"But Germany!!!!" Italy chirped, "I need someone to chase me and I like it when _you_ chase me~~~~!!"

At this the German went red and quickly ducked into his costume putting on the helmet, North Italy skipped happily along beside him.

Funny... Arthur could have sworn he hadn't had a drink yet...

"Hey have you heard about the Doctor Who stall they have aru?" Yao ran by him (Dressed as the First Doctor) pulling Kiku (Dressed as the Second) behind him.

Right... drink...

Suddenly, stalls selling comics and collectables pushed to the side and a metal machine came into view pumping out ... cybermen?!

"What?" Arthur blinked; alright... he was REALLY sure he hadn't had a drink...

Out stepped a cyberman who took off his head (helmet) revealing Ivan with a wide grin.

"What?" Arthur couldn't help but repeat himself.

"Hello Capitalist Comic Readers, You all become one with Cyber-Russia, da?"

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?"

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * *

NEXT TIME:

"ALLONS-Y!!!"

"I'm afraid I'M the hero this time!"

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry."

"Can you hear the sound of drums?"

"Well he did say he was a Martha Jones kind of guy..."

"This is TOTALLY a paradox!"

"You will all become cyber units and join Cyber-Russia!"

"That's impossible!"

* * *

Run Credits:

Story: Hawk Stout, "I'm sorry I'm so sorry!"

Doctor Who: Russell—no wait it's Moffet's now BWAHAHA

Hetalia: Not me

France: Himself

Kuma-jiro: Himself

And Cyber-Russia as: Sir Ian McKellan (No not really)

* * *

Author's notes: ...............

First the Doctors the Countries are dressed as:

China: First Doctor, the meddling old man, because China reminds me of a meddling old man.... (don't ask me why....)

Japan: Second Doctor, mostly because his hair could easily be styled that way (yes that's really my reason)

England: Fourth Doctor, the most famous Doctor of them all (although the Tenth is pretty darn famous now), the scarf wearing Doctor. He's dressed as him because he's the classic Doctor (and who doesn't love the scarf)

N Italy: The Fifth Doctor, the cute blond one, I just thought N. Italy would look adorable in his hat and cricket-y cricket stuff (though he'd probably put the celery into a pasta sauce or something...)

America: the Tenth Doctor, (My personal favourite... yes I like New Who, so sue me) his energetic awesomeness suits America so well...

Canada: Meta-crisis Tenth Doctor... if you haven't seen Journey's End you probably won't get it...just know he looks exactly like the Tenth Doctor.

Other countries portraying other doctors will probably show up in chapter 2.

Explainations if you need/want them:

Arthur loved Doctor Who: It's England.... of course he loves Doctor Who, he's the Biggest Doctor Who Fanboy EVER (in my books)

Except for the movie: Made by Fox set in America, filmed in... Canada?

Not Doctor who, THE Doctor: Doctor Who is the show's title, the Doctor is only referred to as the Doctor, it drives fanboys/girls mad if you refer to him as Doctor Who... I would know (shifty eyes)

With electric guitars...Murray Gold: The Doctor Who theme tune eventually got Electric Guitars added in there which equals awesome.

Red Dwarf: Awesome go watch.

"I'm the Doctor you nitwit!!" "Doctor Who?": Even the show likes making that obvious joke... or they fake you out with someone asking, "Doctor What?"

Not British: Sorry England but Canada has a point, the Doctor is from the planet Gallifrey, his accent means NOTHING (but who doesn't love a british accent?)

November 23, 1963: The First airing of Doctor Who and the day Kennedy was shot... makes you wonder...

Rose Tyler: New Who's first companion, some love her, some think she's a Mary-sue, France thinks she's a way to get into numerous Doctor's pants apparently...

Allons-y: The Tenth Doctor is known to say this (it just sounds Pervy when France says it though...)

Sarah Jane: voted best companion many times over, she has her own spin off show now.

Based off the "you know whos": The Nazi's, but Germany doesn't like to talk about the Nazis, or be associated with them, only N. Italy could get him into that get up. I'm sorry Germany.

What? What?! WHAT?!?!: The Tenth Doctor does this when he's utterly dumbfounded by something (or even annoyed)

Cliffy: It's the Doctor Who way...

Long Author's notes are long........


End file.
